Pt. 1 - Dawn of the Final Day

Prologue - part one

Intro

Intro VO: Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive. But what of the web already woven for us? What if the fate that’s been decided? If our predestined path is blighted, what then? Surely you would think there would be some way to change that.

Dan (DM): Okay, so new podcast! I think it makes sense to introduce our characters here as well

Bianca: Well, I will be playing a Triton Bard. Her name is Cordeelia Cascade and she goes by Deli!

Jordan: Hi, my name is Jordan and my character’s name is Desdemona Cressenia, and she’s an Eladrin Wizard.

Atticus: And I’m Atticus and my character is Elijah Silence and he is a Aasimar Paladin.

Elijah’s Introduction

Dan (DM): Our story begins, as so many should, with a high speed chase. A sleek red automobile flies down the paved streets of Astoria Heights, a patrol car of constables in hot pursuit. Sitting at the driver’s wheel is a half-orc named Ezra Lightspeed. He’s the agreed-upon getaway driver who loves any excuse to show off his skills—and today is no different. They tear down the street at a speed that even a racer might consider unsafe.

Dan (DM): Sitting in the backseat is a gnoll man named Chase “Chuckles” Conway, his hyena face sticking out the window, his tongue lolling in the wind.

Bianca: That’s beautiful imagery.

Dan (DM): Ezra rolls his eyes at this and turns to Elijah. 

Ezra: You got a good hold on it still?

Dan (DM): He is referring, of course, to the small mechanical device that is sitting in Elijah’s lap. It acts as a signal booster for the newspaper, the Astoria Sun, to pick up on police radio frequencies. The strangest part about it is it would seem to be alive, tilting to and fro merrily in Elijah’s lap.

Elijah: I’ve got it just fine. Try not to flip the car or anything, and I think I’ve got it under control. 

Ezra: Are you implying that I normally drive as though I’m going to flip the car?

Elijah: You know? I don’t know if you're going to try and take like… a ramp? It would be cool, but it would also make it harder to hold onto this… thing…

Ezra: Just hold on to it tight. I don’t think there are any ramps in the middle of the street—but if there are, I’m going to take them, Elijah. There is no part of me that can’t.

Elijah: I know, Ezra, I kinda know your deal at this point. So I wouldn’t begrudge you.

Dan (DM): Ezra checks the rearview mirror and notices that the cops aren’t following as closely anymore.

Ezra: Looks like they’re flagging. Good. 

Elijah: They know the ramp’s comin.

Ezra: They only need to give a good show, more like. Can’t let the Sun know that Astoria’s finest wouldn’t touch the Grasp.

Elijah: Right, right.

Ezra: So I guess we gotta be better about not getting police attention next time. I think that’s on me. I did throw myself through the front window. I didn't have to.

Elijah: It looked great.

Ezra: I know.

Elijah: I wish we had a picture.

Ezra: You know, maybe they got—it’s a bunch of journalists in there, maybe they got one.

Elijah: Now, that’s fair, that’s fair. I hope someone was snappin. Which is not great for the visibility thing we were just discussing. I had already forgotten that part of the problem.

Ezra: (with a laugh) Yeah, I—so did I.

Dan (DM): He takes the car hard around a corner, if just so the gnoll man in the back will knock his head against the window frame. And the gnoll’s like:

Conway: You see this, boss, you see what I deal with? He’s so mean to me.

Elijah: (disappointed) … Ezra. Be nice.

Ezra: I was just turning the car.

Elijah: Well, be nice.

Ezra: I—be nice about turning the car?

Elijah: You know his head was out there.

Ezra: (conceding) I… sure did.

Elijah: He coulda hit a sign and took his head straight off!

Ezra: Okay, then maybe he shouldn’t have his head out the window. Have you tried telling him that?

Elijah: You know you’d have your head out the window if you weren’t the one drivin’.

Dan (DM): They pull into an alley that leads to a long garage set up in the poorer side of down. It’s a garage full of cars in various states of wear and tear. From the doorway of the warehouse , a warforged woman with curlers on hurries towards them, wearing a silken kimono that hangs open around a fancy nightgown.

Jessamine: My poor babies! I was so worried! I heard the patrol car and I assumed the worst. Come here. Let Auntie Jessamine see you.

Dan (DM): She hurries over to Elijah first. 

Jessamine: Oh my beautiful angel. Are you hurt?

Elijah: Oh, I’m just fine, Auntie Jessamine. Don’t you worry about me. 

Ezra: The coppers don’t touch us auntie.

Jessamine: (to Ezra) I didn’t mean by the police, I meant from your drivin’, ya lunatic! 

Elijah: It’s fine, there wasn’t even a single ramp. It’s fine.

Jessamine: Anyway, Jaz is lookin’ for you.

Elijah: Suppose we better go see him, then. 

Dan (DM): And she holds out her hands for the mechanism.

Elijah: Sure. Be careful, it ah… likes to wiggle. 

Jessamine: No, I know that about them. It’s absolutely awful. I don’t know why they gotta be alive.

Elijah: It does seem like a cruel joke against god.

Dan (DM): She is distracted by this for a moment, and then she looks down and loudly starts cooing:

Jessamine: Ooh, who’s this precious thing?

Dan (DM): And a small cat—a small black cat specifically—walks up and rubs against Elijah’s leg. You’ve seen it around sometimes, its wide yellow eyes staring out of the void of its dark fur. The boys have started calling him Soot. 

Dan (DM): Soot looks up at you imploringly and does a lil blep. 

Players: Awwww!

Dan (DM): So he’s just kind of following you around, do you like—?

Atticus: Yeah, Elijah just sorta like… kneels down to pet it, I guess.

Dan (DM): He appreciates it.

Atticus: And then he straightens up, he’s like:

Elijah: Well, I guess me and—the cat?—will go see Jaz.

Ezra: You want us to stay out here or something? I know we got plans later, so… I can go get a different car warm.

Elijah: That’d probably be for the best. Good idea.

Dan (DM): Ezra and Conway go do that. Soot… goes with you? Are you carrying him, or is he just—?

Atticus: I carry the cat.

Bianca: —On your shoulders…?

Atticus: Not on my shoulders. In my hands.

Bianca: Oh my god.

Atticus: On one arm. Just sorta a one-armed cat carry.

Dan (DM): That’s so cute. It’s like when Pokémon ride on your shoulders.

Atticus: This is my starter Pokémon, Soot. And a large portion of this game will be me trying to battle other animals that I meet.

Bianca: What kind of Pokémon type is Soot?

Atticus: Normal type!

Dan (DM): He feels like he’d be Fire—’cos his name is Soot, and then he like slowly becomes…

Atticus: His evolution is Fire type. But he starts just normal.

Dan (DM): Elijah is led into a dim room, lit only by two wall sconces, one on each side of the room. The wallpaper is dark, lending to the low lighting, but that’s just the way Jaz Eventide prefers it, the galaxy of stars along his skin glowing its brightest in the dark. You would know that Jaz Eventide is a star carried, an elf with ties to the Stellar Plane. Most importantly, you’d know he’s your boss, the leader of the Golden Grasp, a criminal organization with a stranglehold on Astoria Heights. 

Dan (DM): Can I get you to roll Perception as you walk into this office with Jaz?

Bianca: (chanting) First roll of the show.

Atticus: Oooo. Perception… (unsurely) I have that.

Dan (DM): Do you not have that?

Atticus: I don’t have proficiency. Oh! But I rolled good, so it’s gonna be 18.

Dan (DM): Okay, you super see this, then. You hella clear the DC. You see a set of unusually golden nails on Jaz as they drum on the desk. I think at this point, Elijah is familiar with Pax, the changeling who is Jaz’s second in command, and she always keeps her golden nails, no matter what form she takes.

Atticus: He kinda points at her hand and is just like: 

Elijah: Keepin’ the seat warm for the boss?

Pax: Good eye. Jaz is busy right now. He has to keep an eye on Governor Redmane in case any upstarts get the idea to do anything to him while he's out and about today. And speaking of upstarts… have you heard of the Red Hand?

Dan (DM): You can roll Intelligence or History for this.

Atticus: Oh boy! I don’t Intelligence, so I will just—15.

Dan (DM): Oh, that’s just… that’s so close, is the thing. And at level one, I mean… you kind of distantly might’ve heard the name at least one time.

Atticus: He plays it like:

Elijah: (bluffing) … Oh yeah, yeah. 

Pax: Yeah?

Elijah: Yeah.

Pax: (dubiously) So you’ve heard of them?

Elijah: Of course. (beat) … But why don’t you explain for Soot?

Pax: I will say, almost no one has heard of them. Even the sharpest investigators have heard little of the Dreaming Dark, let alone the Red Right Hand. But. We have caught wind of a Red Right Hand operative coming to visit Astoria Heights today—presumably inspired by the Princeps’ visit. An alliance with them would be… incredibly beneficial, let’s say. We need you to find the operative and extend an invitation.

Dan (DM): And she hands out this, like, manila folder.

Atticus: Yeah, he takes it.

Pax: Now I’m certain I don’t need to tell you, but you cannot let law enforcement hear about this. Astoria PD is only conditionally loyal. If they found out about this, we’d be on shaky grounds with the Precinct. Got it?

Elijah: Got it. Understood. They won’t hear a thing, and I will get us our alliance.

Pax: Great. As for where to start looking… Try the dodgier parts of town? They’ve got to have the insignia or some kind of signifier. That’s what I was told, anyway.

Elijah: … Like a tattoo or something?

Pax: Something on his hand, or to do with a hand… 

Elijah: Alright. Checkin’ hands, lookin for hands. Got it.

Pax: Sounds good. And look, Jaz let me know you’ve got your own thing today, so you can deal with that first. But we do need you to get to this sometime this week.

Elijah: Not a problem. I certainly will.

Pax: Great. You’re dismissed.

Atticus: And he gives a sorta… nod-bow. Very respectful. 

Dan (DM): Nod-bow. Gotchu.

Atticus: (laughing) Half nod, half bow!

Dan (DM): Alrighty, so you’re heading down to the warehouse?

Atticus: Yeah.

Dan (DM): Are you leaving Soot behind? Are you taking Soot with you on a criminal adventure?

Jordan: Only way it’s gonna get exp.

Atticus: You gotta have them at the front of the party if you wanna train em.

Atticus: (beat) … does… does Soot…—? Is Soot chill…? Does Soot—does Soot—? … Can I do an Insight check on Soot? Is Soot a narc?

Dan (DM): (laughing) Do you want to do an Insight check on a cat?

Atticus: I’m gonna Insight check a cat.

Bianca: (cracking up)

Atticus: I’ve gone mad with power. (rolls die)

Dan (DM): … How’s that roll?

Atticus: (laughs) … it’s an 18 plus 4?

Dan (DM): Holy sh*t!

Atticus: (confidently) … 22.

Dan: Soot seems hella like a narc.

Players: (erupt into surprised laughter)

Dan (DM): You are getting supreme narc vibes off this cat.

Bianca: Oh my god! … Oh he was so cool until now!

Atticus: I put the cat down… and go about my day.

Bianca: What are narc vibes off a cat??

Atticus: I don’t know!

Dan (DM): I guess we’ll see!

Atticus: I just like… look at this cat, look at the crimes I’m about to do, look at the cat and I’m just like—

Elijah: Probably shouldn’t.

Bianca: (still disbelieving) Like all he does is like… blep. It’s just like… yeah. Yeah this is a narc.

Atticus: Poke his little tongue and set him down. 

Dan (DM): Okay. He does seem upset about this, but that’s his fault for being a narc.

Atticus: That’s true, this cat’s wearing a wire.

Dan (DM): So you guys get into a different car, and pull out of the warehouse. As you go, Ezra’s gonna be like:

Ezra: So what’d they want you to do?

Elijah: I’m supposed to find someone from the Red Hand...? I believe was the name. To make an alliance. But apparently that can be any time this week. So.

Ezra: Well, that’s pretty laid back of them.

Elijah: (agreeing) Pretty laid back. I mean I’ll try to get to it, but you know… big plans.

Ezra: (strained) Very big plans. … … But we got a bit to wait. Do you want me to drop you off at home first?

Elijah: (mulling this over) … Ah….

Ezra: (in a mocking tone) Did you want to hang out in the city? … Did you wanna go shopping?

Elijah: Nah, I guess, I gotta—

Ezra: Prepare for the act.

Elijah: Don’t say “prepare for the act” ever again.

Ezra: I’m going to as much as I possibly can. You shouldn’t have implied you didn’t like it.

Elijah: This was a moment of weakness on my part, I can see that now.

Dan (DM): So he goes to drop you off at home.

Atticus: Okay.

Dan (DM): So that’s where we leave you for now.

CORDEELIA’S Introduction

Dan (DM): … Cordeelia. 

Bianca: Yis?

Dan (DM): You have been bestowed a trailer by a mysterious benefactor

Players: Ooooo.

Dan (DM): He’s said he’s seen your work and wanted to fund her, if she needed help with anything… And as it turns out, she did! She needed to get in front of the Princeps. That’s how that happened.

Bianca: Got it!

Dan (DM): Yeah, you got funded and you are in a trailer—what’s your trailer look like?

Bianca: You know those, like… vans that you renovate? And it’s like very boho… organic. 

Dan (DM): Wow… ha, so beachy, yeah?

Bianca: (laughs) Yes.

Dan (DM): On the radio, there’s a break in the music. An important message from Governor Redmane, who is the androsphynx governor of Astoria Heights. And he says:

Redmane: Hello, people! I am Governor Redmane, here to deal with an important rumor that concerns the safety of our dear city. There has been talk of the presence of Dreaming Dark. And I’ll tell you now, I have never. Met. A Dreaming Dark—have I, Saorise? 

Redmane: (beat) … Saorise, you can respond.

Saorise: No, Governor, no you have not.

Redmane: There, you see! No Dreaming Darks here. Our esteemed police department will, however, be keeping an eye on things, so don’t you worry about partying to your hearts’ content out there in the streets today. We will see you soon!

Redmane: (quietly) How do I stop being live, is it this button…? I cannot push it with my massive paws.

Players: (laugh)

Dan (DM): With that, the music returns, and there’s a knock at the door of your trailer. 

Bianca: Cool! (uncertain) I go get it…?

Dan (DM): Cool. When you open it, a girl with the face of an axolotl is there. Um… with a little axolotl face, I should say, is probably… a better way of putting that.

Bianca: (laughing) Is this my bandmate?

Dan (DM): This is your bandmate—Maya, the drummer of your old band.

Deli: Mayaaaa! How are you? Oh my god, I haven’t seen you in like… (beat) … in like… time!

Maya: It’s been a few weeks, Deli. So… yeah! It’s been a while.

Deli: How are you? How’s the… band? How’s… (hesitates) … everyone?

Maya: Uh.. I think they’re ok? I came here to tell you something. Two somethings. Important somethings—I don’t want to forget, you know how I get. 

Deli: No, of course, yes.

Maya: First, that creep who used to ask about you at shows came knocking. And I told him you weren’t with the band anymore. I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have talked to him… except to say, “You can go kick rocks, mister!” But… I didn’t say that.

Deli: … that’s… um… fine. Concerning, but, I guess… fiiiiine. 

Maya: He’s technically an admirer, but… you know….

Deli: I guess, yeah… but a creepy one. Anyway… what’s the second thing?

Maya: Oh! Yeah… uh… the second thing, the second thing…. —Nalos! He’s performing today.

Deli: (record scratch) Nuh—! What?! Shut up. No—wait—what? Shut up. What?

Maya: I’m… sorry—

Deli: Shut up. Maya. Shut up.

Maya: (quietly) Okay.

Deli: … what?

Maya: He’s—

Deli: Shut up.

Maya: —umn.

Players: (losing it)

Deli: (after a moment, emotionally) … Nalos is here? Is that why—are you performing with him…?

Maya: Yeah, well, we’re all performing together… we stayed together—

Deli: —No, I know. I’m sorry, it’s… (after collecting herself) Thank you for letting me know.

Maya: You know, if you wanted to avoid him, that’s kinda why I came… I can walk you to the green room that he’s not in….

Deli: Sure, I mean… it’s always nice to see you, Maya…. I just… things just ended super… badly with him, y’know what I mean, it’s just like… mmmmmh.

Maya: It’s awkward!

Deli: Yeah.

Maya: Yeah.

Deli: Um… sure. I mean, I guess it’s time to go… um. Let’s… go?

Maya: Yeah. Okay. Great. Was that—earlier, was that a stabbing motion in regards to how things went, or…?

Deli: Um… you know? Maybe. That’s up for interpretation.

Maya: Well, I personally, Maya—I definitely saw a stabbing motion.

Deli: … y’know?

Maya: So… let’s just go!

Dan (DM): So yeah! They both go to the amphitheatre. And the amphitheatre is in the really ritzy part of town. It’s right next to a big art gallery. It’s actually right up behind it is where the art gallery is. And performers are filing in to prepare. And up ahead, walking with a large shark shifter, is definitely Nalos Seawind himself—a triton with the markings of a killer whale.

Bianca: Can she like… duck behind, I don’t know, equipment or something…? 

Dan (DM): Yeah, I guess… roll Stealth?

Bianca: Can she grab Maya with her—I guess that would be weird—

Dan (DM): Yeah, I’m just gonna say, if you do a good Stealth, you can also grab the little axolotl girl.

Bianca: (looking over her dice) Which one of these will fail me first…? Let’s find out. (rolls dice)

Bianca: (snorts) That’s an 8 on the die, I don’t know if I have Stealth… —that’s a 10.

Dan (DM): He’s sort of a meathead, so maybe he’s like… (rolls) 

Dan (DM): … oh. That’s a 16 on the die.

Bianca: Yeah…. (laughs)

Dan (DM): (helplessly) So, um… I mean he sees you. Probably, it’s not the greatest look either, trying to pull—

Atticus: It’s like the worst look possible. 

Bianca: It’s like you can see her hair… literally like behind an effect rack or something like that.

Dan (DM): You’re literally trying to hide from him and he capital ‘K’ Knows it.

Bianca: (groans) Oh god… is he… coming my way…?

Dan (DM): No, he kind of just… regards Deli with a cool look, but he doesn’t say anything. And he keeps walking into the back door of the gallery.

Deli: … do you think he saw us Maya…?

Maya: Um… (very long pause)

Maya: (unconvincingly) Noooo! No I’m sure he didn’t.

Atticus: Insight check that b*tch.

Deli: (sighs) Does he know I’m here?

Maya: Um, well, I knew you would be performing, so maybe he did—

Deli: Why am I the last to know everything? I feel like I should be the first to know everything. Everything is going so wrong, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do.

Maya: Well—you’re gonna out-perform him, of course!

Deli: I mean… 

Maya: No—I know you’ve got this. I’ve seen you perform! This is great—this is optimal, really, if you think about it. Because then he’s here and people can immediately compare it with how good you are.

Deli: But what iiiif… I do… baaad…?

Maya: That’s… not possible.

Players: (laugh)

Deli: I like your attitude. Too bad you’re workin’ for him.

Maya: (awkwardly) I’m sorry…

Deli: It’s fine… I mean… you know, we all started the band together, it’s just… gotta move on. You know? (unconvincingly) Make your own… way….

Maya: … yeah, well, you—

Deli: (voice wobbling) Unless you’re happy with him, it’s fine, I’m not gonna judge you.

Maya: Oh! I’m… kinda happy, but you know, it’s like, you figure you seem like you wanna go solo….

Deli: Yeah, I mean… you know… it  just felt… time.

Maya: Yeah—

Deli: Yeah.

Maya: … Yeah… I agree. You got this, Deli. Deep breaths.

Dan (DM): You guys go through the backdoor of the stage and she shows you to your green room.

Desdemona’s Introduction

Dan (DM): Meanwhile, in the Monastery in Swan Falls, it is the morning of the Princeps visit. Lately—as in, the last few days—Desdemona Cressenia has been having terrible, fitful dreams… which is unusual considering that she’s an elf, whose only repose is meditation. But it isn’t as though her meditations haven’t always been fraught. As an eladrin, she finds it impossible to remain in the same season for longer than a day. Against her will, she will awaken the next morning to find she’s become a different season. 

Dan (DM): But, to return to our present predicament—that has only outweighed the season problem just recently—Desdemona Cressenia was having the most terrible, fitful dream of them all. But it didn’t start that way. Tonight, it started out with the foggy visage of a man, like watching a scene th rough a wet window, speaking to a her in a soft voice. 

Dream Man VO: … so you’re a bookworm, are you…? I’ve got so many books in here…. Probably some you oughtn’t be readin’, seein’ as they have to do with the fates of other people, but… well, she ain’t around to stop anyone anymore….

Dan (DM): It melts away to darkness, and suddenly she finds herself in a scene that echoes terribly—as though two nearly identical versions of the scene are playing out at once.

Dream Man VO: Get to the mirror! It’s the fastest way to the temple!

Dan (DM): She moves through a mirror, and the dream is so vivid that she can feel the cool, thin membrane press against her skin as she jumps. And she hears others following behind her—friends. Before she can turn to see them, however, she jolts awake.

Dan (DM): Sitting in the room with her in the monastery for the Sisters of the Tower is her fire genasi friend, Marjorie Song.

Jordan: I’m gonna roll a d4 real quick, just to see what season I’m in.

Dan (DM): Good! Yes, I was just gonna ask you.

Jordan: Just for reference, a season basically decides their mood.

Jordan: (rolls) 2… so I’m gonna guess that’s… Sum—

Dan (DM): Spring? —Oh. Just kidding.

Jordan: I was doing Spring first.

Dan (DM): Summer, then, there you go. —Actually, I pictured it being summer! That’s what I wrote in here.

Jordan: Wow.

Atticus: Psychic visions… plague Dan… and always have, since she was a small child.

Bianca: That’s how this game came about!

Mona: Bonjour, Marjorie…?

Marjorie: Good morning. I had no idea that elves slept, but you definitely looked asleep, so I didn’t want to wake you.

Mona: That is… un…usual.

Marjorie: Yeah. But it’s unusual in the really boring way where I just kind of sat here for like 20 minutes.

Mona: Oh! Why… have you—why are you watching me sleep?

Marjorie: Well, I wasn’t watching you sleep. God, don’t make it weird. I was… waiting… for you to wake up. Because I don’t have anything else to do. —Except chores, but don’t tell Sister Rowena that I’m not doing them.

Mona: Your secret is safe with me.

Marjorie: (suddenly scrutinizing) Is it?

Mona: Y—yes…?

Dan (DM): Roll Persuasion. —Unless it’s Deception.

Jordan: (laughs) Ah, no… it’s true. 

Jordan: (rolls) … oof. That’s a… that’s a 3 plus 2. 

Dan (DM): I dunno! What’s her Insight…? … that’s an 18 on the die. 

Dan (DM): She narrows her eyes for a second, then un-narrows them.

Marjorie: Okay, whatever. Anyway. I have an idea. An amazing idea about today.

Mona: Okay.

Marjorie: So you know how you… you want to go protest the temple thing, right?

Mona: Right.

Marjorie: Great. What if we go one step further than that…? And make the temple thing a thing people never forget.

Mona: How… do you propose to do that?

Marjorie: Hold on. I will tell you. —What if we do something so crazy in there that people are afraid of it and then never mess with the temple again?

Mona: Are… we going to damage the temple?

Marjorie: No! No, that goes against the point. We’re gonna go down there, we’re gonna scare people away from like the minerals and junk, and then we’re going—to essentially like protect it, right? With fear as a motivator.

Players: (laugh)

Mona: (uncertainly) Oui… do you have a plan?

Marjorie: No, but you’re a wizard, right?! You can do like flash-bang-cool-stuff, right?

Mona: … I… I can make fire, yes.

Marjorie: Fire’s a good start. Fire’s a great start. I can do fire, also. Obviously. 

Mona: That’s like your whole thing.

Marjorie: It is my whole thing. It’s like all I got.

Mona: Here’s the thing… I would like an audience with the Princeps myself, if possible.

Marjorie: Whoa. That’s wild. —You think you can get an audience with the Princeps?

Mona: I’m not… sure. I would like to.

Marjorie: Here's the other thing. The other thing that I was going to pitch to you. I… personally… really am going to murder a man for an autograph from Cordeelia Cascade.

Bianca: Jesus.

Atticus: (laughs)

Mona: Did you have one in mind?

Marjorie: Oh—did I say literally? Because I meant figuratively. I’m going to figuratively kill a man for Cordeelia Cascade. … Unless she wanted me to literally kill a man, then I might do it.

Marjorie: But she does this fire dance, and it’s amazing, it’s like… she’s ground level right now? But she’s gonna get big.

Mona: Right… I—

Marjorie: Here’s the thing—here’s the thing. Follow me.

Mona: I… I am following you, yes.

Marjorie: Okay. If we are able to get in good with Cordeelia Cascade—she probably knows the Princeps if she’s performing for him, right?

Mona: Oh… yeah! That’s brilliant. And then… if he does not comply, then we will scare people out of the temple and make him rue the day that he denied us.

Marjorie: Yeah, there you go. Those words. Sounds good. … Okay, we should probably get out of here soon, so we can catch the morning train to Astoria.

Mona: Okay!

Dan (DM): As you guys are heading out, however, you are stopped by Azrael—an angel—who sweeps in.

Azrael: Hello, ladies! Desdemona! And Marjorie, of course.

Marjorie: Ugh! Azrael! Go away! Can’t you tell no one likes you?!

Mona: I—... I don’t… dislike you, Mr. Azrael.

Azrael: That’s why I like you best!

Mona: That’s… very sad, I’m sorry to hear that.

Azrael: It’s sad that I like you best…?

Mona: … —that… not disliking you is the high bar to clear.

Azrael: No, no, no—it’s not. It’s not-not dislike—wait. It’s a faCAde. They don’t actually dislike me. I can—

Atticus: (dying laughing in the background)

Azrael: I can see through to their inner feelings. It’s an angel thing. 

Azrael: (after a long beat) So any news about me becoming a god? Have you seen it in the cards, or…? Or the dreams, or…? Or… how do you girls See, I guess I never asked before.

Mona: I personally am not a fortune teller…

Azrael: Oh! Darn.

Mona: Yeah, I’m studying all schools of magic, and Divination is among them, but… I personally do not see the future. But, I am sure that whatever you put your mind to Azrael, you can achieve.

Marjorie: Don’t… get his hopes up! That’s almost worse! Look at him, he’s stupid!

Mona: Azrael, can I ask you a question?

Azrael: Yes, certainly.

Mona: Why do you think that you will become a god?

Azrael: Because… I’m powerful? And I would… make a good one?

Players: (wheeze)

Mona: Do you think that there is an application process?

Azrael: —Is there an application process?!

Jordan: Mona face palms.

Mona: … No… no, I’m asking you if you think that there was. Because I do not think that’s how godhood works.

Azrael: No, right? It just is gonna happen to me. I just don’t know when. It just happens. —Angel senses. Except they’re not that great, I gotta come ask you guys when it is gonna happen.

Mona: Look, we’re in a bit of a hurry right now, actually….

Marjorie: Uh, yeah. Can we like… pause this conversation, and maybe never do it again?

Mona: … are you going to the big festival?

Azrael: I wasn’t gonna, but… do you want me to?

Mona: Is the alternative you harassing all the other people at the monastery? My sisters?

Azrael: Yes, definitely.

Mona: Come along, Azrael.

Dan (DM): And then Marjorie just, like, glares at you.

Mona: … maybe if we tell Sister Rowena that we saved everyone from Azrael, she will not make us do chores tomorrow.

Marjorie: (exhausted) I’d rather do chores…. 

Dan (DM): They go out to catch the train to Astoria Heights.

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